We begin your amazing Life Jacking journey with the core fundamental principles of how to market anything to anyone. We will be taking a page from the big boys (and girls) of marketing by teaching one of the greatest tools of marketing ever invented : Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs. What is Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs, you ask, and who was this Maslow fellow anyway? Well, it is a fascinating story and one I am always glad to tell.
Maslow was born in a time before the dinosaurs on a distant planet, the location of which he has yet to divulge to us mere mortals. A cataclysm on his homeworld inspired his parents to place him into a deep space capsule and send him to earth where he would be the savior of all humankind. Raised by a elderly childless couple on a Kansas farm, he learned to love and use his powers for goodness, not badness, as the other alien children in his youth were wont to do. Finally, young Maslow came of age one day after finding a crystal pyramid hidden in his otherworldly baby clothes, which taught him the Holy Hierarchy of Needs. This wisdom he chose to pass on to all of the rest us through his job as a patent clerk in Wichita where he invented the theory of Dark Matter.
“Wow,” you might be saying, “that’s an impressive childhood!” I would have to agree.
But what did the Hierarchy of Needs have to teach us all? Why, how to market anything to anyone, the Life Jacking way, of course! In Part One of this multipart series we will be looking at the very base of the pyramid, the one associated with what is commonly termed “survival” needs, but can also be referred to as “the easiest market.” As we move up the pyramid in further installments, the marketing gets more challenging, but for now we’ll go for a ride on the great existential cakewalk that is selling the basic needs of existence to those who need it. Let us begin.
Before we delve into the nuances of the pyramid itself, it might be useful to go over the basic strategy of marketing and selling. Let us now ask the question : What is marketing and selling? To put it simply, there are three basic steps, or processes, to this kind of thing.
1.) You have something someone wants or needs.
2.) You refuse to just give it to them for nothing.
3.) They do what you require to get it.
Pretty simple, and not in that “deceptively simple” way many talk about. This is just pure, honest, simplicity. It becomes more clear when we look at the Hierarchy itself. The base of the pyramid is divided into a few sections of its own, but don’t let that throw you, they fit together rather elegantly to create the world view of your target audience. These sections, or “basic survival needs” are listed on the Holy Hierarchy as Breathing, Food, Water, Sex, Sleep, Homeostasis (it’s okay, the word only LOOKS big), and Excretion. We will now examine this more closely in a Life Jacking Marketing Way(TM).
1.) Breathing : Hold your breath for a couple of minutes and you will immediately see that breathing is important for survival. Breathing is actually one of the more frequent things that people indulge in and is therefore highly marketable. The supermarkets have no end to the amount of things you shove up your nose to aid breathing, as well as things that go across the nose, around the nose, and mention the nose in passing on their way to the pub. All of these things seem ultra-important to consumers simply because we are all very addicted to breathing. Most people would rather die than give up breathing. Breathing is such a fundamental need that in some circles people have given up food in order to have more time breathing.
So the question emerges : How do we sell breathing to those who breathe all the time? It seems like such a simple concept, everybody does it, almost everybody wants to do it, it should be easy to sell. The good news is, it is extremely easy to sell breathing to the general public. All you need is some kind of thing that makes breathing easier, or more fun, or novel in some other way. A good example of this are flowers, which make the act of breathing more enjoyable due to the good smell and poetic licenses of the flower industry. ”Stop and smell the roses” is one of the most powerful slogans ever for a product. It’s simple, easy to remember, and drives people with allergies crazy because it makes them really want to. Once you realize that you can use one breathing oriented product (roses) to make others (those with allergies) need another breathing oriented product (allergy medication), a great tapestry of industry unfolds before you. Has anyone invented rose scented nose spray yet? Will you be the one?
2.) Food : It is simply amazing what people who want food will do to get their hands on some. They will literally beg, borrow, steal, and, in extreme circumstances, grow their own to get it. Food has been a favorite pastime of people since people were invented and the trend looks to be going strong way into the future. Selling food to people is effortless and all that it really requires is that it doesn’t kill the person who eats it. People will generally eat almost anything if you call it food and will come back for more if they survive the experience. There was a time when marketing to those who grew their own food was next to impossible, but thanks to genetic engineering this too has become possible. With the invention of seeds which grow sterile plants, food can actually be sold to people who grow their own food, eliminating the need for a factory, processing, packaging, and shipping heavy cargo. Pure genius. Even though people can go longer without it, food is actually easier to market to people than breathing, in most cases. Don’t forget, that along with food are the food oriented non-food objects that can also be sold to the peoples of earth, such as eating utensils, napkins, and fake food (which is like having a 24/7 working advertisement for real food in the home) as decoration.
3.) Water : Water is the basic ingredient of all beverages, big and small, fizzy and flat, clear and absorbing of all light. Without water, the soft-drink, hard-drink, and, for the ladies, firm-but-fizzy-and-fun-drink industries would not exist. Most people will refuse to eat if there isn’t some kind of water based beverage involved. It is a coincidence of nature that water is also used to grow most kinds of food (with the rare exceptions of Tofu and Grandma’s Thanksgiving Turkey which actually absorbs liquids into oblivion), so water is also a basic need for the survival of other kinds of industry. The earth is 3/4 water, but only a percent of that is what is commonly known as “drinkable” making beer a rare and precious luxury. Water is such an easy to sell item that it comes in configurations ranging from its basic form all the way to water based solids, known as “ice.” You should have no problem selling water to the masses.
4.) Sex : Without sex the human species would cease to exist. Sex literally sells itself (on the corner a lot of times). Paradoxically in relation to the other needs, the selling of sex can actually be hindered by the involvement of the seller, so don’t hover too close over your sex industry or you may creep out your potential buyer. Just let the sex do the talking and stand back to reap the rewards. Once sex is presented it requires no corporate maintaining and though billions are spent on the sex industry, this is only to add flavor, not to keep the industry going. Sex is the easiest thing to sell because everyone wants it whether they know it or not.
5.) Sleep : Ah, perchance to recover from getting and using all those other needs! People get very angry and unhappy when this need is not made available to them and the better the sleep experience you can offer, the more ridiculously successful you will be. Everything from pillows to bourbon is utilized in the attainment of sleep and it is such a powerful need that people will indulge in it at the cost of their own lives. If you can provide a service or product which allows people to sleep and live to sleep again, you have a repeat customer for life. I told you this level of the pyramid was easy.
6.) Homeostasis : This sounds complicated, but it really isn’t. This simply means that people have a need for things to stay the same. For example, a living person would like the process of living to remain the same, so wont betray the living market for death if they can help it. While this may seem more tricky to sell to people, you’d be surprised how easy it actually is. You cater to the homeostatic market by not changing your products function and nature one iota. By doing the same thing as you did yesterday you reinforce in the customer base that you are dependable and have no sneaky newfangled gimmicks up your sleeve. If you do feel the need to excite people with something new (as people sometimes want you to do) you can still satisfy this need by changing the packaging, the slogan (though not recommended), or the way the product is used. By leaving the product itself the exact same no one will see it as a threat to homeostasis. For a prime example of this, look at the car door. Hinge to the front, handle to the back, opens outward. Been that way since the time of the cavemen and while the packaging may have changed over time (the car built around the door), the door remains basically unchanged and people like it that way. Another example is pants.
7.) Excretion : As you may have heard, everybody poops! Industry itself usually has quite a bit of waste attached to it, as many American rivers can attest to, but not many think of the demand side to the waste of industry. The fulfillment of all of the above needs often leads to some sort of excretion of something or the other that the consumer no longer wants around them. This is why waste removal is equal to all other industry combined, as it must mirror the output of that which is consumed. From the chamber pot to the garbage truck, excretion is considered a necessary, if not amusing / embarrassing, side effect of enjoying life. To the savvy businesshuman, however, it is neither of these things, it is to them the very best thing ever. Excretion means the product consumed has been transmuted into a state where it is no longer desirable as the product it was, leaving the consumer to seek a new instance of the product to be supplied by the seller, who can also be there to remove the waste (what a ridiculous term, “waste,” it should be called “gold that no one wants”), doubling their involvement in the consumer’s life. More involvement means more things to market, sell, and reap the rewards of. For every food industry there is a poo industry. For every inhale there is an exhale. For every flushed toilet there is an open pantry and this is the beautiful cycle of life.
This completes our overview of the base of the pyramid and in future installments we will be looking further up the Holy Hierarchy. This may seem like a lot to take in at first, but that very metaphor is a key to understanding the essence of Life Jacking. Here is an excellent exercise…
Exhale as deeply as you can and hold your breath for as long as you can. When it gets to the point you can’t hold it anymore, imagine yourself coming along and providing you with the very air you now suck hungrily into your lungs. Now imagine yourself walking away leaving you to hold the air in for as long as possible. Soon, this too will become intolerable and you will be forced to exhale. Imagine yourself having to come back to you in order for you to exhale, to take the bad air away. That is the very basic nature of selling to people. You be there when they need to inhale, you be there when they need to exhale, and you be the only way they can accomplish these things.
Now tell me that doesn’t make you feel superpowerful. You, my friend, are now well on your way to being a Life Jacker. Welcome to the fold, dear friend.
Take a deep congratulatory breath now and don’t worry, I’ll wait.
Part Two coming soon!
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